A prayer I wrote earlier this year…God has been faithful to answer it. (Noeline Maldonado)
January 28, 2018
I don’t know how I manage to do it.
You keep my foot from stumbling, only for me to leap into trouble. You crown me with your goodness, only for me to pluck the pearls from my diadem and feed them to swine.
You make me to lie down in green pastures, and I refuse your peace and plunge into another pit.
You make yourself my mighty fortress, yet I foolishly charge into life’s battles on my own.
There is no end to my vanities…
My stubborn will is blind and mistaken; it thinks it can stand against your ultimate authority.
I defiantly and repeatedly eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, thinking I will learn something greater than the hole in my soul.
But knowledge saddens.
The more I know, the deeper the chasms of my ignorance.
I can’t out-know you.
I can’t out-run you.
I can’t out-shine you.
I’ve been tricked by pride, duped by arrogance, arrested by fear, and pulled from my God-given potential.
So here I am.
I stand at your door and knock
Hoping that you hear my voice.
Hoping that your offer to come in and eat together still stands.
Pleading with the The Good Shepherd, the gate for the sheep.
Pull me back into your fold because the current is strong and I may not return on my own.
Your Word is branded across my heart even when I deny its power.
I guess what I’m asking is, I’m willing that you make me willing, Lord….